This week I worked on fine tuning my sentences to bring my argument to life. As always, I have create ideas in mind but they tend to be poorly executed through my sporadic writing. I notice that I tend to 1) jump from topic to topic as I write 2) have too many cluttered sentences and 3) abruptly begin a new idea. Bill also pointed out awkward phrases/sentences that I need to revise. So, I wanted to pinpoint any other areas that contain similar errors. Going forward, here are some things I need to work on:

  • ¬†Rewriting topic sentences for each subheading: Now that I’ve broken my paper into parts, I can glue those parts together with the proper starting sentence.
  • Re-write awkward phrases: Today’s workshop really helped me notice the wordiness in my paper. My peers even rewrote sentences for me in the four pages I showed them (Thank you Alleya and Jennifer!!). Doing X/Y cohesion that we talked about in today’s workshop is also useful!
  • A small bit of research: Some of the comments on my paper pointed to my lack of scholarly research. My arguement relies on the film reviews when it should be scholarly articles/books instead. So, I need to incorporate two more sources (which I already have and read through. I just need to stop procrastinating and incorporate them into my esay)
  • Formality: I tend to write too “casually” and I need to be more aware of my academic audience.
  • Margins: I always screw up the spacing and indentations. So, I need to handle the above things first so I can focus on this task for a bit.
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February 8th, 2018 at 2:53 am